My dear netas – you deserve business class

September 14, 2009 haikvr 1 Comment

Our poor netas, who have already sacrificed some good professions like farming, medicine, engineering, business, law, stock trading, IT etc – for the greater good of the country, and for serving the downtrodden of this nation – are being punished by forcing them to travel in economy class. What sacrilege.

No one is there to speak in support of our netas – and they will not protest but will accept this quietly – because their humility does not allow them to protest. So I am taking up their cause in this post. No they did not pay me – our netas will never do such a thing.

Why our netas deserve business class and private jets:

1. Stress

They take so much stress. From the build up to getting a party ticket, fighting for votes, then the horse trading and finally they become ministers. And still it is not over, they have to ward off allegations of corruption, nosy reporters, RTIs, PILs – and somehow manage to find time to serve the masses.

And you expect them to be herded like cattle in economy class? Give them a break.

2. Seats are too small

Have you not seen the photos of our netas? Because they take enormous stress and the long hours they put in every day – they are a little bigger than an average Indian. They simply cannot fit in an economy seat. Please do not ask them to go join a fitness club. There is not enough time in a day.

So if your seat is next to them – in economy class, you are better off sitting on the floor. Fight for them to go business class to save your ass ( literally speaking ).

3. Entourge

Do you think our netas travel alone? They will have a bunch of IAS, IPS, SAS, CRM, CBI, ABC, GHI officials accompanying them all the time. Putting all of them in a private jet is cheaper than buying tickets for each one of them in an economy flight.

So my dear fellow countrymen – don’t you agree – our Netas deserve business class and private jets. Don’t believe what the media is saying and don’t join them in celebrating the suffering of our poor netas.

tips, zone

Getting into the zone!

August 17, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

Have you ever experienced being in “the zone”? You might have experienced for sure – but never noticed it. Once you are able to notice how it is to be in the zone – you can plan to get into the zone more often – for better productivity and happiness.

What is the zone?

The zone is a state of mind when time stops, creativity flows, your breathing is relaxed and steady, new ideas spring up and it leaves you energized wanting for more. In spite of working for hours at a stretch, if you are in the zone – you never feel tired.

Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, Anna Karenina – are two books that I have read where they talk about this state of mind. Zen book says about getting into the zone on any activity that you do – could be washing dishes, could be fixing a motorcycle, could be writing a blog post. In Anna Karenina, one of the characters – Levin goes to cut corn along with his laborers – this chapter in the book is a masterpiece. Leo Tolstoy beautifully describes how it is to be in the zone – proving why he is one of the greatest brains of all time.

It took some time for me to discover this “getting into the zone” thing. Whenever I am in the zone the code that I produce is beautiful and bug free. New ideas, hidden potential bugs show up and I squash them even before they get a chance to show up.

How to get into the zone?

You need a ritual. Here are some of the things that I do to get ready to go into the zone

1. Music

Either classical music or some movie songs that I have heard a million times before – mostly AR Rahman songs – so they wont distract but will quieten the outside noise.

2. Clear out the feeds and empty inbox

I clear out all the feeds in bloglines, and also empty my inbox – so there is no thread running silently in the head draining resources.

3. Busy status in IM

IM is a big distractor. I educate my buddies not to disturb when I am on busy-status. If they do not respect – I either block them temporarily or sign off from IM.

4. Load up with water

I keep a big jug of water and keep sipping. It will keep the brain hyderated for the upcoming power session !

After this – when I hit the editor I will notice that time would have stopped, and the things around me will disappear and I will not even hear the music. It will be just me and the editor – and things will start flowing. Because now I will be in the zone!

What is your ritual to get into the zone?

health, tips

5 simple tips to fight Flu

August 11, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

The media is doing what it does best – spreading fear and panic. So here is my little post which is an anti-dote in these scary times. Some tips for increasing your immunity – so when flu gives you a visit, it knows it is not welcome.

1. Orange Juice & Fruits.

Fruits have become really expensive – nowadays Doctors are cheaper than Apple ( the fruit 😉 ). However packaged juices are cheaper than fruits if you do the Cost benefit analysis.

Try and get juices that claim they have no sugar and no preservatives. I do however remember reading that Vitamin C by itself does not help fight flu – but there are other good things – anti oxidants, Vitamin C, fiber – so over all it is good for a healthy you – and it is tasty too.

2. Japanese Shower

Take a hot bath and once you are done – in the end – take shower in the cold water. While taking a hot bath the pores open up and blood flow circulation increases in the skin. When suddenly cold water hits your body, the pores start contracting, and blood is forced to rush deep into your system – carrying with it nourishing oxygen and anti bodies. This is very effective and fun.

3. Pranayama

It takes 2 minutes but this is the most effective of all – I do this while reading the headlines of the newspaper in the morning.

Remember the 10-10-10 rule.

First set : 10 times breathe slowly but firmly through left nostril with right nostril blocked. Repeat with right nostril.

Second set : 10 times breathe a little more faster and with more force through left nostril.Repeat with right nostril.

Third set : 10 times inhale through the left nostril, exhale through right nostril and reverse.

4. Stay away from fries and chaat

8/10 times whenever I ate those delicious fried bajjies, or paani poori outside I have caught cold. You can try rice bran oil for frying ( but do not reuse ) and relish the same sinful stuff at home – cheaper and comparatively healthier.

5. Wash hands constantly

I once heard a NPR podcast about the correlation between number of heartbeats and the lifespan of an animal. The only species which defies this is humans – whose number of heartbeats is less, but their average lifespan is disproportionately higher.

The reason they gave was that humans wash their hands. Simple as that. All the epidemics enter through hand-mouth/eyes route.

Have soap dispensers in all the basins – and yes, you should use anti bacterial soap – just washing hands with water is not going to be of much help.

6. Bonus – Aerobics

This is the panacea to not only fighting flu – but to most of the ailments which might trouble us. If you think about it there is no way of fighting flu alone – your whole body has to be healthy – that will ward off lot many things – bad cholesterol, back aches, stiffness, excess fat build up.

So friends let us not wait till New Year to get healthy, this is the right time – we are being brainwashed with Swine flu scares by the media. Instead of reading reports and worrying, let us hit the healthy lifestyle button.

retweet

JK Wedding video & more

August 2, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

I know I should not be writing about this video – according to Wired’s How to Behave : New Rules for Highly Evolved Humans.

But I have to – this post is for my not-so-wired friends about a phenomenon that took the net world by storm. It is a video of a wedding party that makes its entrance dancing to a song ( thanks to this video the song- Forever by Chris Brown – went to the top in iTunes ).

Here is the real video :

And here is the spoof from college humour -Unexpected Divorce Intro – which takes things a little too far..:)

Enjoy !

philosophy

How to make a decision?

July 28, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

The last decade of my life has been very interesting – I had to take decisions at various points in my personal life as well as in my career – a few times the choice was very clear, at times both the choices looked equally attractive and at times both looked equally hard and difficult.

So how do we decide which one to take?

The thumbrule I have is – take the harder path. By harder I mean – I might have to work harder, educate myself on something new, might have to let go off my comfort zone, let go off things I love. But this might not be the case always – at times the easier option was also the best option.

So how do we know if the choice we had made is the right one?

The answer is – we will never know. If there was something called time travel then perhaps we will know. So I tell myself – the decision I took was the right one – always. I never regret on any decision I had taken because I know just around the corner I have one more decision to make which will be harder than the previous one. These things just keep coming 🙂

How about instincts & gut feeling?

Absolutely go for it – this works 9/10 times. From my personal experience and what I have found out from others – listening to your inner feeling, your heart – has a good success rate. I recommend reading Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – which will help open your ears to this heart/gut feeling of yours.

The Usual disclaimer : This post cannot be held responsible for the decisions you will be taking in your life 🙂

agile, unit tests

Fuses blowing off is a good thing

July 27, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

Can anyone spot what is wrong with this picture? Look closely – there are no fuse carriers and the lines have been shorted by a thick piece of wire.

Wondering what it means? – When an electric surge happens – there is no fuse that will blow and break the circuit. The surge will go right into the homes and kill all the devices which are On at that time – TVs, bulbs, mobile chargers…

I am not trying to educate BESCOM electricians – they are lazy & crazy and they don’t read my blog – but this post is about unit tests.

Last week I answered a questionnaire for a friend of mine who is doing a course work about Agile – one of the questions was – Is it not absurd to write unit tests?

The above picture is the answer to the question. Unit tests are like fuses – they blow up in your build and prevent a blow up in production in future. Commenting out an unit test is like shorting the circuit with a thick piece of wire – like in the above picture.

For eg., when a developer forgets to do a null check – and the failing unit test is not fixed, but instead is commented out – your users will be greeted with a Null Pointer exception on the last screen of a payment page. Imagine how mad your client will be?

Anyway I rest my case – next time when you comment out a failing test – think of that picture – and imagine a surge happening and hitting a 52″ Plasma TV showing the last ball of a 20-20 match…pattt…bshhhhhh – and a bunch of hideously laughing BESCOM electricians.

microsoft

Microsoft’s battles

July 22, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

Microsoft is fighting lot of battles – that is one problem of being big.

OS : Windows vs OS X, Linux, Solaris, and now Google Chrome OS

Email : Hotmail/Live vs GMail, YMail

Search : Bing vs Google,Yahoo..

Database : MS Sql Server vs Oracle,MySQL,PostgreSql..

IM : MSN Messenger vs GTalk, Yahoo Messenger,IRC,Pidgin

Programming platform : .NET vs Java..

Languages : C#,VB.NET,ASP.NET vs Java, Ruby,Python,PHP,Perl..

Mobile OS : Windows Mobile vs Android, OS X, Symbian..

Media player : Zune vs iPod, Creative, Sony..

Office Suite : Microsoft Office vs OpenOffice, Google Apps

Browser : Internet Explorer vs Firefox, Safari, Chrome, Opera

Gaming Platform : XBox vs Nintendo, Sony and now iPhone

Vector graphics for web : Silverlight vs Flash, Flex

My head is spinning. If you notice the ones on the right of VS – for instance Opera – that is their entire life – the reason for their existence. They are focusing all their energies and souls into their products -yet Microsoft is able to match them and give a good fight.

Even though I am a MS baiter, I have to admit – Microsoft is good.

The above list is not complete. What other battles you think Microsoft is fighting?

Articles

Get inspired by the Spartans : “300” Movie Review

July 21, 2009 haikvr 4 Comments

300_movie

Have you seen the movie – 300? It is the story of 300 Spartans who defy all logic and fight against wave after wave of attacks by a much bigger Persian army. Technically it is a well made movie and is a good entertainer – but as an entrepreneur you can draw lot of inspiration from this movie.

The Spartans were severely outnumbered – but they believed in their abilities, their training, the trust they had with one another – sounds familiar? 🙂

As an entreprenur you will have to fight lot of battles – thought not as gory as Spartans.

Fight against a well established player :

Like the Spartans, when Apple started they had to fight IBM. When Pepsi started it had to fight Coke. You can find so many stories where a small company challenged the giant in the industry. If you are one of those entrepreneurs fighting a bigger player – keep going. If you believe in your abilties, in your team – even if it is small – you can win the battle eventually.

Fight against established norms :

Spartans did not believe that they had to match the enemy one to one in number. If they had stuck to the established military principle – they would have lost the battle even before it began. But they defied the established norm and held the Persian army at bay.

When twitter started, there was criticism. Why will anyone want to limit their thoughts to 140 characters when there are blogs? – and look what is happening today.

In NewZealand, Tendulkar was sent to open the innings, and instead of protecting the wicket and seeing through the initial overs, he took advantage of the open boundaries and accelerated the score. Purists criticised him for rash play – but he changed Cricket forever.

Bend the rules to your advantage :

Spartans bent the rule by making Persians enter a smaller area to fight – so inspite of the Persian army having a larger force they were forced to send only a few at a time to fight with the Spartans – which the Spartans decimated.

This is what all management books say – find out what is your core competency, your strength – and try to focus on that – try and dictate how the battle has to be fought.

Take a couple of hours off – and you and your team watch this movie together – it will be quite an inspiration.

Some interesting quotes from the movie :

“Immortals… we put their name to the test. “

“We did what we were trained to do, what we were bred to do, what we were born to do! “

“Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell! “

“The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a God-king can bleed.”

vista

Staples Print Center’s gift to me – Khatra.exe

July 20, 2009 haikvr Leave a comment

Last weekend I went to Staples Print Center in Marathahalli – Printo has closed shop and moved out. And when I got home I plugged the USB drive into Vista and AVG Anti Virus did not complain – but I saw a program called Khatra.exe asking for Admin privileges to run.

Then I rebooted into Ubuntu and was horrified to see the files that were there. There were folders and lots of exes. Now I am upset with 2 entities here.

1. Staples Print Center

Printo always scans the flash drives ( even if it used to take time ) and not once they loaded viruses on to my USB drive. Wish Staples learns from their competitor and educates their employees to follow proper process ( I am sure Staples will have it in their employee handbook ).

2. Vista

I did not give administrative privileges to Khatra.exe, still it managed to copy itself in the registry in some 10 places, got itself added to startup , and had the guts to ask again for administrative privileges when I rebooted.

I am shocked that inspite of all the zombie Windows XPs on the net, Microsoft has not learnt a thing – it is still a MG road platform – anyone can come, sit, pitch their tent and start doing business.

I am seriously considering investing in Codeweaver or trying out Virtual Box for Ubuntu – Office is one thing that forces me to reboot to Windows. It has wasted a few hours of my time – imagine the billions of hours people will be losing all over the world because of poor security measures in the OS.

photos