Rahul Dravid’s first 20-20 match

“Wow I am so excited this is my first 20-20. That Dhoni will not let me play one day nor 20-20. Now here is my chance to prove him wrong. Imagine if I hit it big I can do more advertisements. Already I am an icon. Take that you Dhoni fool. Mallya will let me fly one of his kingfisher flights, or let me drive one of his F1 cars and put me bare chested like Fisichella and Sutil in one of the volvos, and I will dominate Bangalore like never before. Perhaps they will rename airport road as rahul dravid road. Then that loser blogger venkat who commutes on airport road every day will have to say my name.

Now let me concentrate. In test I have a full day before I hit my zone. But the umpire will say it’s stumps and I have to start all over to get into my zone. Here already those Washington red skin cheerleaders have distracted me enough. And this Ishant Sharma is on the other side. Its getting difficult to see the ball nowadays – perhaps I have to see a doctor. Gotto ask Sachin or Saurav who they are seeing. Somehow they are able to keep their heads above water. Let me concentrate. If I send this ball to the ropes the crowd will start chanting my name. Oh how it was at one point in my career. Even if I defend the ball the commentators will go gaga over it – and the crowd will appreciate the style. I do not know what has changed. Perhaps I will show these T20 fastfood buffs how you can defend the ball in style.

Bring it on Maga. Ok here comes the ball. Man this Ishant is quite tall. I will tell Pepsi not to feature him next to me in my ads – he will make me look really short. What was that noise. Oh crap my leg stump is on the floor – how did that happen. Alright time to hang my head down and put a stunt as if I am disappointed at this lose of wicket. I am the captain right. If I do not act well perhaps they will think I am not committed enough. I hope they do not show the new ad that I shot yesterday for that – what was the product? – anyway it doesn’t matter – it will be quite embarrassing if they show that ad now. But I hope they show some other ad soon and I go off the tv screens. The crowd is anyway watching the cheer leaders. Neck is hurting. Why do not they make an underground tunnel to the dressing room from the pitch directly. Have to go through this ignonimity often.

Anyway why should I care. I am making 4.5 crores in this one month. Tomorrow have to make an appointment with my auditor if I can get this waived some how. Hey venkat want to look at my tax return? Oh you are busy writing a post about me. Carry on dude, now let me go relax and pray the wickets fall soon so I can go home and get some sleep. Today traffic will be horrible – these damn IT people. “