The last couple of days I am watching Tamil TV Serials – during lunch and dinner. I have to socialize with the guests who are visiting us. It will not be manners to read a book when guests are around you see.

So here is how I entertain myself.

1. Watch the side actors. Usually the main heroine ( no heroes ) will be talking a few pages of scripts in one go. And time to time the side actors will keep looking at each other. It is so funny. At times one actor will try to look at the other – and she/he will be listening intently and will not look.

2. Watch for mistakes. There are so many. Usually when there is a large crowd there will be 5 or 6 people who will never get a dialogue. Keep looking at them – and they will keep seeing into the camera now and then.

3. Guess the cliche statement that will emerge out of the actor’s mouth. You will win all the time.

“Enn uyiruai kuduthaavathu unnai kaapaathuvaen”
“Vaanga. Coffee saapidureengala”
“Nalla mugurtham paarthu sollnuga”

There is more to entertain yourself. Guess what they really wanted to speak.

“Unnoda Call Sheet mudiyuthu. Seekiram sethu tholai”
“Vaanga. Beer saapidureengala?”
“Marriage set innamum ready aagalai – 2 months thalli date iruntha sollunga”

Here is my suggestions to the script writers to hook up people like me.

1. Mix up a few sports news in dialogue.

“Chennai Kings kalakuraangala”
“Chelsea manager sothapeetaan”
“Gilli marana adi adikuraan”

2. Product placements.

For instance, all the actors use a cellphone. Why can’t they use it to their advantage –

“Entha Phone ithu? Oh Nokia N97. Cool machi”
“Wow Flat screen – Samsunga – nalla color kaatuthu”
“Oooh Mac Book” ( If a day comes to this Steve Jobs will be selling movie tickets in black )

3. Mix a few PJs

I understand you script writers dilemma. Years of writing cliche after cliche dialogue has blunted the brain. Suddenly you cannot ask them to write jokes – atleast browse on the internet and insert a few PJs here and there.

“Knock knock”
“Why did the kozhi cross the road pa?”
“Intha Blonde joke kelaaen?”

God save Tamil TV Viewers.